When Someone Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

If sex is going to happen, it’s essential that everyone agrees that they want to. If a person agrees they want to have sex, that means they’re giving consent. But how can you tell if someone wants to have sex? How can you tell if someone is giving consent? In this video by Planned Parenthood, they show what it looks like when someone definitely doesn’t want to have sex. They also show how you can support someone and be good to them if they don’t want to have sex with you.

Want more?

  • SexSense is a free hotline where you can get your questions answered by phone or email.
  • Scarleteen is a free website with lots of consent questions sent in by people, and answers from sexual health educators.
  • WAVAW and BCMSSA are organizations that help people who have experienced consent violations, sexual abuse, and assault.

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Why We Talk About…


We hear a lot about consent when it comes to sex. But what does consent mean? How do we ask someone for consent to kiss them? To have sex with them? How do we decide if we want to give someone consent? 

As well – should people be asking us for our consent about other things besides sex? Should staff ask for our consent when figuring out what the day’s activities will be? Can our parents make us eat broccoli without our consent? Join the conversation on consent!

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We’re always looking for participants to be part of our next video shoot, where folks have conversations on dating, love, relationships and sex.