How do You Know if Someone Wants to Have Sex With You?

If sex is going to happen, it’s essential that everyone agrees that they want to. If a person agrees they want to have sex, that means they’re giving consent. But how can you tell if someone wants to have sex? How can you tell if someone is giving consent? In this guest video by Planned Parenthood, they break it down and make it clear.

Want more?

  • SexSense is a free hotline where you can get your questions answered by phone or email
  • Scarleteen is a free website with lots of relationship, boundaries, and consent questions sent in by people, and answers from sexual health educators. 
  • WAVAW and BCMSSA are organizations that help people survive abusive relationships.
  • Is That Legal? is a guide to dealing with sexual harassment online.

Why We Talk About…

Consent

We hear a lot about consent when it comes to sex. But what does consent mean? How do we ask someone for consent to kiss them? To have sex with them? How do we decide if we want to give someone consent? 

As well – should people be asking us for our consent about other things besides sex? Should staff ask for our consent when figuring out what the day’s activities will be? Can our parents make us eat broccoli without our consent? Join the conversation on consent!

Safer Sex

Riding in a car is never 100% safe. Neither is eating a sandwich. That doesn’t mean we should never do these things. It does mean we should consider taking common-sense precautions, like wearing a seatbelt, not riding with a driver who’s been drinking, not eating baloney that’s past its expiry date, and not swallowing our food too quickly while running with scissors. 

Sex is never 100% safe either. That doesn’t mean we should never do it. It does mean we should consider taking some precautions. But what exactly are we trying to prevent? What are we taking precautions against? Are some precautions more effective than others? How do we talk about safer sex or contraception (birth control) with our partners? How do we talk about our safer sex or contraception needs with the people who support us? Where can we get information about this stuff? Where can we get supplies? Join the conversation on safer sex!

Risk:

Everything in life involves risk. Walking out the front door of our home can be risky. Not walking out the front door of our home can be risky. Going online can be risky. Not going online can be risky.

Relationships can also be risky. Friends might disappoint us. Boyfriends, girlfriends, romantic partners might break our heart. Sex might lead to unplanned pregnancy or STIs. Consent isn’t always respected. Some people might try to rip us off. But not having relationships can also be risky. Loneliness and isolation are hazardous to our health.

How much risk should we take? How can we figure out when a risk is worth it to us, and when it isn’t? How can we improve the odds of good things happening?

As well, what are the risks of never taking risks? What are the risks of not having enough information to make our own informed choices about risk? Who are the right people to ask about these things? Join the conversation on risk!

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